Tuesday, October 31
Do you want someone to tell you if...
a) your pants are unzipped
b) you have a "bat in the cave" (#1 & #2, but omw, NOT #3!)
I ask because Thursday I ran errands for hours...with my pants unzipped. I'm "ughing" again just remembering. Even my children didn't tell me, I realized it for myself when I went to the bathroom after school pick up (they swear they didn't notice, "Mom, no one saw..."). My mind is racing, trying to remember when I "went" the last time, knowing they had been undone half the day, trying to recall everyone I had talked to. The biggest embarrassment was knowing I had just had a lengthy discussion with our tile guy, I'm pretty certain we maintained eye contact the entire time. Let me believe this even if it's not true.
So, I ask again, is ignorance bliss or do ya wanna know?
One of my more embarrassing moments was at Bath & Body last year, shopping at Christmas time. The rather hip college-age cutie working the register, in not-so-hip terms, told me I needed a tissue. Her equally dollish co-worker felt every bit of my pain and said incredulously, "I cannot believe you just told her that!" to which CAC says, "Well, she didn't need to go around all day looking like t h a t--THAT would be embarrassing!" Me, thinking but not speaking: Ummm, hello girls, I'm standing right here! And yeah, I'm TOTALLY mortified, but in my cheek-reddened state, in a way that you can only appreciate because you've been spared even further embarrassment, I was grateful.
Rachel and I are tactful about this, we have a hand-motion-signal-thing going. If that doesn't work, we usually just say "You might wanna take care of 'things'" and by "things", we know exactly what the other is saying.
But, noooooo, not my boys. Let this serve as a warning. Do not read further if you are grossed out by really disgusting little boy conversationsthis means you, Susan;) Ooooo, and Ree, I just remembered Grandma Iny (see May 2006) :). I'm gagging just mentally recalling their conversation from Friday. Trust me, the faint-hearted will follow suit.
Rachel and I are in the front seat, Stephen & Thomas behind us. Rachel and I are having a nice convo, recapping her school day. The radio is providing nice car ambiance when we hear a disturbance behind our heads followed by Stephen LOUDLY protesting--
"Ewwwwwwwww. Grooooosssssssssss!!!"
He has our immediate attention. In stupidity, we ask "What?" jinx-style, but he would've told us anyway.
"Thomas just showed me a bloody booger...and then he ATE it."
Roadside regurgitation by the driver followed that pronouncement. Immediately following is me thinking "HAVE I NOT TAUGHT HIM BETTER THAN THAT???!!" (gagwretchgag) My next thought was "At least it's not smeared on the seat (more gagging ensues). Keep your eyes glued to the road...DO NOT LOOK BACK!
In spite of Stephen's disgust, he finds this hilarious. Thomas is peacock proud and receives his audience's reaction as ample reward for his gross out prowess . Rachel is just pleading "DO SOMETHING about them!" No wonder Calgon's "Take me away" campaign was a raging success...every mom in Americaneeded wanted to escape at times like these :/.
Anyhow, back to where I began, the saving grace of my XYZ dilemma...
...at least I wasn't going "commando" ;).
b) you have a "bat in the cave" (#1 & #2, but omw, NOT #3!)
I ask because Thursday I ran errands for hours...with my pants unzipped. I'm "ughing" again just remembering. Even my children didn't tell me, I realized it for myself when I went to the bathroom after school pick up (they swear they didn't notice, "Mom, no one saw..."). My mind is racing, trying to remember when I "went" the last time, knowing they had been undone half the day, trying to recall everyone I had talked to. The biggest embarrassment was knowing I had just had a lengthy discussion with our tile guy, I'm pretty certain we maintained eye contact the entire time. Let me believe this even if it's not true.
So, I ask again, is ignorance bliss or do ya wanna know?
One of my more embarrassing moments was at Bath & Body last year, shopping at Christmas time. The rather hip college-age cutie working the register, in not-so-hip terms, told me I needed a tissue. Her equally dollish co-worker felt every bit of my pain and said incredulously, "I cannot believe you just told her that!" to which CAC says, "Well, she didn't need to go around all day looking like t h a t--THAT would be embarrassing!" Me, thinking but not speaking: Ummm, hello girls, I'm standing right here! And yeah, I'm TOTALLY mortified, but in my cheek-reddened state, in a way that you can only appreciate because you've been spared even further embarrassment, I was grateful.
Rachel and I are tactful about this, we have a hand-motion-signal-thing going. If that doesn't work, we usually just say "You might wanna take care of 'things'" and by "things", we know exactly what the other is saying.
But, noooooo, not my boys. Let this serve as a warning. Do not read further if you are grossed out by really disgusting little boy conversations
Rachel and I are in the front seat, Stephen & Thomas behind us. Rachel and I are having a nice convo, recapping her school day. The radio is providing nice car ambiance when we hear a disturbance behind our heads followed by Stephen LOUDLY protesting--
"Ewwwwwwwww. Grooooosssssssssss!!!"
He has our immediate attention. In stupidity, we ask "What?" jinx-style, but he would've told us anyway.
"Thomas just showed me a bloody booger...and then he ATE it."
Roadside regurgitation by the driver followed that pronouncement. Immediately following is me thinking "HAVE I NOT TAUGHT HIM BETTER THAN THAT???!!" (gagwretchgag) My next thought was "At least it's not smeared on the seat (more gagging ensues). Keep your eyes glued to the road...DO NOT LOOK BACK!
In spite of Stephen's disgust, he finds this hilarious. Thomas is peacock proud and receives his audience's reaction as ample reward for his gross out prowess . Rachel is just pleading "DO SOMETHING about them!" No wonder Calgon's "Take me away" campaign was a raging success...every mom in America
Anyhow, back to where I began, the saving grace of my XYZ dilemma...
...at least I wasn't going "commando" ;).
Name:
24 Comments:
Once when I volunteered in my daughter's classroom, I happened to see one of her boy classmates dig out a booger and eat it. I nearly doubled over with the urge to puke. Nasty!
Usually when I've gone around with my pants unzipped, I've luckily had a long shirt on that covered it. I still felt really embarassed and mentally retraced my steps to remember if anyone acted funny as if they might have seen it.
Susan in VA is going to faint.
I didn't raise boys. I probably would look like a witch naturally on Halloween had I had sons.
May the force and a box of kleenix always be with you.
(*SHRIEK!*) (*GAG!*) Oh my!! I didn't heed your warning, Robin! I sooooo wish I had (*CHOKE!*) Gross! Disgusting! BLECH!!!!!!
Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew
What was the question?
ROFL - The joys of life with kids and our "less than stellar" moments. Take heart - EVERYONE has a story whether they share it or not. Some of us don't have the luxury when the bottom half of our costume falls of during a dance recital number.....*blush* But I have plenty of others that were more discrete.
Hugs,
Holly
Holly's Corner
That is just too funny! I have had a lot of anxiety about little things like that. Every now and then I still get the nightmare that has me not realizing I've walked outside without pants. In reality I have walked outside not realizing my boxers weren't cargo shorts. But it was pretty early in the morning and I was simply getting something from my car in the driveway.
As to the boogey... simply gross! LOL! I have done a lot in my life and can withstand a lot of pain due to some of my training before and in the Navy. But I have incredible gag reflexes when it comes to boogers. Needless to say, I could be easily interrogated with that one simple technique. I have a nephew that eats boogers. His older brother has another issue. He would wipe his butt with his bare hand. I always knew if he was at my house because I'd find poop on the walls, toilet and toilet paper. GAG!!! I couldn't take it after a while and would have to send people in to check and clean before ever going in.
I would definitely want to know about either, it would be embarassing but would rid me of a full day of embarassment. I should hope anyway.
The snot story was pretty gross, but completely typical of every kid I know. To further gross out Susan, when my 2 year old picks her nose she tries to feed it to her dad.
the answer to both questions...YES!! and let's add a third...something stuck in the teeth! Momentary embarassment is so much better than going around with my pants unzipped, bat in the cave or food stuck in my teeth all day grinning at people!!
And what is it about boys and bodily things??? I just don't get it!
Okay, too far with the consumption of the bloody booger. Yuck.
Chris tells me I need a tissue or just hands me one.
A friend in college used to say that we had "flappers." Not a pleasant picture.
Not that this happens to me so often :)
Janice, good to see ya again :) and thanks! It's nice to have a little something of my own in the blogosphere :).
Sally, "that" is something I WILL NEVER become decensitized to.....gag! Ick. Grot. Hurl!! Maybe I should become Amish...they don't have zippers. Wait...the girls don't even wear pants, so never mind (lol).
Pamela, Thomas wants to KILL me for posting this (I thought he'd be proud!). Rachel told him "That's what you get!" I couldn't help but laugh and feel bad all at the same time (but I ain't deleting it).
Susan, I KNEW you couldn't resist and please forgive me...I feel the same as you, and if I had to live it, it was my duty to "share". I'm sure you'll have these stories, too...and soon!
KELLY--MAYBE THAT'S WHY NO ONE IS ANSWERING MY QUESTION WHICH IS WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO KNOW! lol, Instead, everyone's heaving and wretching (snort). Hey, is that a PTT story??? (now I'm just rolling!).
Oh! No!! Holly!! Too funny! Do you have a video clip? I'll pay to see it :).
Mike, I have the half clothed/sans clothes dreams still, too. They come in all kinds of flavors, but I'm always embarrassed no matter what. You and Susan would get along fine w/your weak boogie gag reflexes :). Maybe we should try that interrogation technique at Guantánamo Bay, but it might be deemed cruel and unusual treatment.
But the stuff about your nephew???? I'm hurling all over again. Grot. Sick. Hmmm, he should be a performance artist in NY, he's have all the material he'd need (more gagging). How old was he when it stopped? It HAS stopped, hasn't it?
Emma, Susan will now hate you for sharing that information (although "hate" is not in her vocabulary). Does your hubby play along??? That's beyond a father's duty!
Claudia....I'm soooooo w/ya girlieQ, I forgot that one. Little boys come up with this stuff all on their own...and for some, it never stops! Can anyone say "Johnny Knoxville"??
For all, this is my scary Halloween post :) :D.
You all crack me up :)
Don't you remember your own gross childhood?
I would totally want to know if I had "issues" to deal with. I prefer the discreet "hmm.. would you like a kleenex" or, "your, um, zipper / skirt/ slip, etc."
But, when you spend the day with children, you get lots of indiscreet comments, "I can see Mrs. __'s snot!" (followed by dozens of "ewwwwwwwww"s & a group of boys crowding closer to look!)
I LOL when I read the "bat in the cave"! I've never heard it put that way. Still can't stop laughing.
LCO, I have NO idea what you're talkin' about...me? doing anything gross??? Nevah evah!
Chilihead, I love it when you visit...you've got a great laugh :D.
OK, the bloody booger was enough to gag a maggot...but I just kept reading for more, more, more...
Leaving your zipper unzipped on purpose will teach you a lot about people...try it sometime.
BLECH!!
Unzipped pants is pretty benign - but bloody boogers.....blhltzchy
My husband is KNOWN for having unzipped pants. I always give him a hard time about it - and then one night we took one of his customers out to dinner. At some point, the guy said, "Your husband's pants are unzipped ALL the time." It was then I knew it wasn't just me who noticed. :)
I think he's 8 now, or pretty close to it. He's not quite so bad these days, but the last time we went into a Chevy's for dinner, the kids were in there forever. Apparently, he got carried away leaving his poop mark all over the place. His dad had to help clean it up. What a way to finish dinner, huh? It's just plain old nasty. Ugh!
Yeah, sure, a PTT story. Totally a PTT story.
Oh, and the answer? Yes, I'd want someone to tell me.
Then I'd crawl in a hole and die. But I'd be glad they told me.
ROFL! Are you going to show him all the grossed out adult comments;)
I have a sister that used to eat boogers!
eww! (I don't think she still does) lol!
ok...I admit...I love Johnny Knoxville!! :)
To be honest - YES, I would like people to tell me if I have something hanging anyway on my body that doesn't belong - and if my pants are unzipped I would be most grateful a LADY would point it out to me. I would be highly embarrassed if a guy would do it *blush*.
About your boys? All I can say, boys with be boys and you just gotta live with it *grin*. But what really grosses me out? When I sit at a stop-light and someone is "digging" and afterwards examining it...EWWWWWWW
I am sincerely hoping that the tile guy wasn't doing what tile guys do- while you were talking... installing tile, eyes at about zipper level. *cheeky grin* Otherwise, I think you were ok.
Ahhh, the boog issue. *sigh* It's terrible when it becomes such a bad habit that you do it without realizing in front of people. No, I am not talking about me... I mean my 5 yr old.
I gave that up years ago. :OP
Yup, definitely gag worthy. LOL!
Oh, I forgot to add that yes, I tell people as tactfully as possible. BTW, my nephew was nick named Batman for awhile ;o) No matter how often you cleaned his nose, they just kept growing back.
ok, I just had to check out the gross post. you did warn us, but, eeeewwwwwww.
You know, it never occurred to me that our boy may be less that tactful about similar situations. So far, being the youngest and only b&D campaogns and KNOW how guys talk when they forget there are females present. Oh my, must remember this.
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