Tuesday, September 5
Could YOU relax???
Great >:( !
As if I wasn't tense enough, IE just shut down, "we're-sorry-for-any-inconvenience" my behind, and I was almost DONE with this post. BIG GRROOOOWWWLLLL emanating from deep within. Let's try again. (thinking vile and wretched thoughts right now and if there was someone standing next to me I'd ring their bell). Sometimes I wish I could be as free-talking as Marnie, but for a host of reasons that ain't gonna happen. Moving on...
Ihate dread going to the dentist for anything, even cleanings (I have very sensitive teeth), but ESPECIALLY for everything else. Today's visit was to refill three old cavities, so, to say the least, I woke up this morning with fear and trembling.
This is probably universal, as Dr. C says "NO ONE is glad to see me unless they're having their teeth whitened or have a true dental emergency." He understands fully well his vocation is a necessary
e v i l. I mean, really, go no further than their tray of "instruments" ... they LOOK like mini torture devices (why am I thinking about first-year "Alias" right now?). Then the noises, ai yi yi, THE NOISES: high-pitched whirring and whining, mini jackhammers drilling inside your head, a fine-mist facial of water and your own enameled DNA flying all over th
e place...and then there's that thing about using dental records to identify bodies. It just scares me, okay?
I suppose Dr. C was trying to get my mind off the fact, that in his hand he held the elixir that would render me a slobbering, facially-paralyzed, dental drunk for the next three hours. Instead, for all his lively banter, my internal "homeland security" went from "High orange" to "Highest red".
Get this conversation...makes me wonder what his pick-up lines sounded like before he got married:
Spoken very excitedly, "Guess what I saw yesterday?" [I have no idea, but it was a rhetorical question anyway.]
"Live cadavers." pause for effect [my head does a quick double-take, "WHAT??!"]
"Real, live cadavers." [isn't this an oxymoron??]
He begins explaining, his hands animated for effect. No matter the expression ofhorror disgust increasing repulsion replacing my usual affable smile. He just wasn't reading or responding to my social cues to cut the convo SHORT.
Apparently, he took the family to see Bodies: The Exhibition, now touring in Atlanta. He couldn't get enough of these 21 dead people, various parts dissected for his viewing pleasure. Real. live. dead. people. I'm sure it was educational. Lungs ravaged by emphasema would surely prevent at least some of the viewers from picking up a cigarette. Livers destroyed by cirrhosis would likely deter others from partaking of the wicked drink. Reading the FAQs, this clearly has educational value.
I am sure I'd find this fascinating (once I made a trip to the restroom to hurl), but it feels like our appetite for the macabre is out of control. Voyeurs watching trainwreck after trainwreck, from reality tv to...REALITY. I need to watch the Brady Bunch or Cosby Show or take a shower or something.
Back to my story, post injection, Dr. C leaves the room to allow me time to numb up. So, I start reading the book "I couldn't put down!" acording to the friend who gave it to me over the weekend, and I swear, if my shoulders weren't already stress-shrugged up to ear level, they were now! This book begins with the brutal rape and murder of a 14-year-old girl! I HAVE a 14-year-old daughter, so reading something like this is disquieting (an understatement). After I got through the initial shock of its opening, I didn't have anything else to do while I waited, so I kept going. Forty pages in, I'm intrigued, so it looks like I'm gonna have to finish. The review on this link and my friend's enthusiasm (?) are compelling.
I wonder if Homeland Security (photo credit, I picked up their alert chart from the website) is gonna investigate my blog now since I talked about it. Wierd...big brother...feeling very 1984-ish right now.
As if I wasn't tense enough, IE just shut down, "we're-sorry-for-any-inconvenience" my behind, and I was almost DONE with this post. BIG GRROOOOWWWLLLL emanating from deep within. Let's try again. (thinking vile and wretched thoughts right now and if there was someone standing next to me I'd ring their bell). Sometimes I wish I could be as free-talking as Marnie, but for a host of reasons that ain't gonna happen. Moving on...
I
This is probably universal, as Dr. C says "NO ONE is glad to see me unless they're having their teeth whitened or have a true dental emergency." He understands fully well his vocation is a necessary
e v i l. I mean, really, go no further than their tray of "instruments" ... they LOOK like mini torture devices (why am I thinking about first-year "Alias" right now?). Then the noises, ai yi yi, THE NOISES: high-pitched whirring and whining, mini jackhammers drilling inside your head, a fine-mist facial of water and your own enameled DNA flying all over th
e place...and then there's that thing about using dental records to identify bodies. It just scares me, okay?I suppose Dr. C was trying to get my mind off the fact, that in his hand he held the elixir that would render me a slobbering, facially-paralyzed, dental drunk for the next three hours. Instead, for all his lively banter, my internal "homeland security" went from "High orange" to "Highest red".
Get this conversation...makes me wonder what his pick-up lines sounded like before he got married:
Spoken very excitedly, "Guess what I saw yesterday?" [I have no idea, but it was a rhetorical question anyway.]
"Live cadavers." pause for effect [my head does a quick double-take, "WHAT??!"]
"Real, live cadavers." [isn't this an oxymoron??]
He begins explaining, his hands animated for effect. No matter the expression of
Apparently, he took the family to see Bodies: The Exhibition, now touring in Atlanta. He couldn't get enough of these 21 dead people, various parts dissected for his viewing pleasure. Real. live. dead. people. I'm sure it was educational. Lungs ravaged by emphasema would surely prevent at least some of the viewers from picking up a cigarette. Livers destroyed by cirrhosis would likely deter others from partaking of the wicked drink. Reading the FAQs, this clearly has educational value.
I am sure I'd find this fascinating (once I made a trip to the restroom to hurl), but it feels like our appetite for the macabre is out of control. Voyeurs watching trainwreck after trainwreck, from reality tv to...REALITY. I need to watch the Brady Bunch or Cosby Show or take a shower or something.
Back to my story, post injection, Dr. C leaves the room to allow me time to numb up. So, I start reading the book "I couldn't put down!" acording to the friend who gave it to me over the weekend, and I swear, if my shoulders weren't already stress-shrugged up to ear level, they were now! This book begins with the brutal rape and murder of a 14-year-old girl! I HAVE a 14-year-old daughter, so reading something like this is disquieting (an understatement). After I got through the initial shock of its opening, I didn't have anything else to do while I waited, so I kept going. Forty pages in, I'm intrigued, so it looks like I'm gonna have to finish. The review on this link and my friend's enthusiasm (?) are compelling.
I wonder if Homeland Security (photo credit, I picked up their alert chart from the website) is gonna investigate my blog now since I talked about it. Wierd...big brother...feeling very 1984-ish right now.
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13 Comments:
Okay - I am totally there with you on the dentist - and then having to tell the kids, "The dentist is great!" when you know deep down inside that you are just lying your butt off. I can't lay in the chair and relax - I always grip the chair arms.
I think I might pass on that book. Did they make a movie out of it? Or - was that something else?
And - sorry I can't help you with the animated gif's....I just copied it into my picture file and downloaded it like a picture and it worked. So, I don't know what to tell you. Sorry...I was holding my breath the whole time I was doing it too - hoping it would work, and it did. So - maybe you need to hold your breath? One more thing to stress you out!!!
Did you have a good holiday?????
My dentist told me that he had a female patient being cranky -- and she said... "Well, I would rather have a baby then have my tooth filled!" and his response
"Well, make up your mind, and I'll adjust the chair."
No, K, I wasn't holding my breath but was standing on one foot touching my nose with my fingers crossed (lol). I don't think the book was made into a movie.
Yes, great visit with the "cake and the icing";). The good thing is, when we left our hometown this time, it didn't hurt to leave it:).
P, rofl & snorting:D. I'm very agreeable and compliant as a patient (but on the inside I'm shakin' in my shoes).
You know what is Funny (funny strange not funny ha ha ha) I found my self referring to the 1984 and big brother reference for some reason the other day.
Pamela....ROFLMAO
Very funny Pamela, not so funny Robin.
Robin, I'll put you out of your misery. You did nothing wrong. The problem is with blogger. Simple gif files seem to animate OK, more elaborite ones don't. That Snoopy on my blog is supposed to be typing.
You can tell if it will work or not by looking at how blogger saves the file, if it changes the suffix to '.png' it won't work, I think it has to do with how many frames in the gif. The one on Karmyn's site has only four (long story how I know this) and the one I tried to get working has fourteen.
In reference to a trip to the dentist...change the seat, I'd rather have one of the other exams...
In reference to Willow Tree's post, what is he talking about? png won't work, frames in the gif...???
I'm getting heart palpitations just reading this - I, too, loathe going to the dentist....the whole experience gives me the heebie jeebies!!!
So, Robin - basically (according to WT) - I just lucked out and chose the right animated gif to put on my blog. HA! - I can't believe I was so lucky.
Hmmm....
Swampy, me too (ick ick ick). WT is speaking greek, fyi.
WT, wtheck DON'T you know about? You're a bottomless pit my friend (but, hey, I gotta question? You've got answers).
Yvonne, I love a commenter who says "heebie jeebies", you've made a new friend just b/c of it ;).
Karmyn, I wonder if he's right... I have reason to believe he is.
The EASIEST wv I've ever had, and I needed easy--gcgcg.
A mixed bunch of reactions here. A few chuckles way down low, horror, wincing, and a broad smile. Seems we've been all over the planet!
I read about the cadaver exhibition on someones' blog (?) and they loved it too. Not my cup of tea at all. In fact, I opted out of marrying my surgeon wannabe boyfriend in college... I stay far away from dental drills, and violent novels... yikes!
I loved this: my internal "homeland security" went from "High orange" to "Highest red". Me too!
Of course I'm right!!!!!
I know about it because I spent a F*&^%king day trying to get one working. The dancing snoopy works fine, as do a few others.
Once I found what the problem was I downloaded a GIF editor to see what was causing the problem, I now know everything about gif animation except how to get the one I like to work on my blog.
I don't have kids and I'm a computer programmer,so given the time resources I have, anything less than a thorough investigation would have been lame.
Peter, Peter, Peter....me thinks your internal homeland security was off the charts. That being said, I am most thankful for YOUR investigation so you can accurately provide wisened counsel to us gif neophytes :).
(I've learned...when it starts sucking time, I HAVE to "walk away from the light"...otherwise I'd take a baseball bat to my computer!
Bodies Exhibition is coming to Vancouver.. I find it weirdly interesting.
I did want to be cremated when I passed, now I want to be vacuum sealed in silicone and preserved forever. My family can just keep me in a corner of the living room.
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