Tuesday, October 24
Sometimes I write for "you"...
...and sometimes I write for me.
This one's for me. Because I want to remember.
It's not a side often shown "here", so many distractions...and well, it just takes longer (maybe only for me, I dunno). There's so much more to "us" than our next post, huh? It's only when I slow down that I remember that about you. We're not one-dimensional characters on a page, we're complicated people living complicated liv
es, with a thousand questions that demand answers, most of which are rather simple yet rarely easy. Then there are the questions that desperately scratch and claw, hopefully beg and plead for an answer, and you have to choose a "best" option when none really exists.
Introspective today...the following is a result of that. If you've read me a while, you know this is related to my dad's circumstances; if not, I'm including a few posts which explain further. Don't worry, I'm fine...just thinkin'.
Moments of Beauty
A Different Kind of Father's Day
One for the Daddy's Out There
If you're visiting from a Jenny's "Naked & Free" post, I'd love to hear your thoughts, too. And thanks for letting me "get naked" with you....
This one's for me. Because I want to remember.
It's not a side often shown "here", so many distractions...and well, it just takes longer (maybe only for me, I dunno). There's so much more to "us" than our next post, huh? It's only when I slow down that I remember that about you. We're not one-dimensional characters on a page, we're complicated people living complicated liv
es, with a thousand questions that demand answers, most of which are rather simple yet rarely easy. Then there are the questions that desperately scratch and claw, hopefully beg and plead for an answer, and you have to choose a "best" option when none really exists.Introspective today...the following is a result of that. If you've read me a while, you know this is related to my dad's circumstances; if not, I'm including a few posts which explain further. Don't worry, I'm fine...just thinkin'.
Bookend
Flesh and bone
Heart still beating
Only motion
Breathing, eating.
Prison cruel
A living dead
Mocking laughter
Fill my head.
Revolving faces
Known or not.
Doesn’t matter:
Cold or hot.
Day or week or month or year
Time suspended.
Left, much fear.
Coherent thought
Now eluding.
Takes its place
Thought deluding
Monsters lurk at every door.
Mind held captive, wanting more.
Always looping, endless reel
Flashbacks true? Are they real?
Footing, sure or steady—Either!
Mind or body, I have neither
Sons and daughters
Are they mine?
Once familiar, now benign.
Time for bed or time for tea
DOES NOT MATTER, can’t you see?
Broken bones one day will mend
Broken minds do not end.
Paranoia. Panic. Dreams.
Nothing ever as it seems.
Holding pattern. Purgatory.
Agonizing end of story.
Regret and sin, confession weeps.
Forgiveness…please? My soul to keep.
Child-like prayers, can You hear?
Silent screams in Spirit’s ear.
Tender Peace
Invade his soul.
Loving God, make him whole.
Glory’s touch. Eternal light.
Radiance, diffuse this night
Heart still beating
Only motion
Breathing, eating.
Prison cruel
A living dead
Mocking laughter
Fill my head.
Revolving faces
Known or not.
Doesn’t matter:
Cold or hot.
Day or week or month or year
Time suspended.
Left, much fear.
Coherent thought
Now eluding.
Takes its place
Thought deluding
Monsters lurk at every door.
Mind held captive, wanting more.
Always looping, endless reel
Flashbacks true? Are they real?
Footing, sure or steady—Either!
Mind or body, I have neither
Sons and daughters
Are they mine?
Once familiar, now benign.
Time for bed or time for tea
DOES NOT MATTER, can’t you see?
Broken bones one day will mend
Broken minds do not end.
Paranoia. Panic. Dreams.
Nothing ever as it seems.
Holding pattern. Purgatory.
Agonizing end of story.
Regret and sin, confession weeps.
Forgiveness…please? My soul to keep.
Child-like prayers, can You hear?
Silent screams in Spirit’s ear.
Tender Peace
Invade his soul.
Loving God, make him whole.
Glory’s touch. Eternal light.
Radiance, diffuse this night
Balm the heart. Salve the pain.
Lose this world and You he'll gain.
Forever healed, end of strife
Truth, a person, kiss of life.
Moments of Beauty
A Different Kind of Father's Day
One for the Daddy's Out There
If you're visiting from a Jenny's "Naked & Free" post, I'd love to hear your thoughts, too. And thanks for letting me "get naked" with you....
Name:
22 Comments:
Hmmmm. This is a beautiful poem, Robin. I'm sorry about your dad.
peace,
dh
many thoughts & prayers today
Here is an online Hug for you -
(OOOOOOOOO)
It doesn't help, I know, to say I know what you are going through.
My dad had a brain injury that resulted in him being in a semi-vegetive state for 18 months.
The result was the deterioration of my mothers health as well, and her financial destruction.
Death was sorrow, but relief.
Prayers for you, and your family.
Great poem. Robin, I don't know you well yet, but just the same I will pray for this time of mourning to pass and that "the joy comes in the morning."
-Vicki-
Sorry about your Dad....sending you some cyber {{HUGS}}
This poem/prayer flows well.
I'm very touched by this excellent poem. I had forgotten, in the midst of all your food and fun, about your poor father. I'm so sorry.
I'm over from WT's and of course, I see you at Ree's and ?Swampwitch's.
Magnificant poem. Truly.
I'm guessing your Dad suffers or suffered from a cognitive decline, perhaps Alzheimer's.
As a nurse, I understand and as the niece of a victim, I understand.
May you be able to rejoice in the best of your father and suffer the least of his misery.
♥Pam
What a beautiful poem. I am sorry for your pain.
Hey Susan! Wonderful poem. . .My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Beautiful, Robin! Great way to start my day.
Hey Robin! Thanks for the post. And you're right about us all living complicated lives. Even when we're at our simplest, we have a lot going on.
None of us can really know why certain circumstances come our way and other land upon others we may know. I'm a firm believer that God does bring these things into our lives to work out his individual purpose for each of us. And that actually brings me much comfort.
I wish you well and am thinking about you.
Good morning mes amies :). In general, thanks for your kind thoughts...prayers...for me and "mine". It means a lot.
C, Pam & Shauna, I know you're here from WT's place, I've seen you "around" ;). Welcome :). I'm still workin' my way over to your places, but y'all know how THAT goes (best of intentions :/).
Dan, Vicki, Shauna, E-mom, Ree, Anna, Shauna, Pam...writing poetry comes in spurts for me, very feast or famine. The thing is, when it "comes", I can't not write, you know? I appreciated your thoughts where the actual poem were concerned, sharing it (any of my poems) with anyone leaves me feeling somewhat exposed. C, I appreciated, too, your notice of the transition to prayer....
Pamela, Cheeky & Pam...you have an "insider's" perspective. And it DOES help to be encouraged from "those who know". Thanks for taking time to encourage me!
Karmyn, I love hugs, cyber or otherwise :).
LCO, Vicki, Shauna, Pamela & Mike, I do appreciate your prayers.
Robin, that is very powerful. My heart goes out to you, that has to be very tough.
Wow, Robin. Poignant poetry of the struggles of life (and death) and the hope of resurrection.
Thank you for sharing.
That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
Here's another for ya, (((Robin)))
God bless, Mary
Love, wow, that was great. The most beautiful thing about your peom is where you ended...at the Father...the Holy One of Isreal. Constant reminder that should always lead us back to the cross. Keep going ... I love seeing YOU on the page...and not the chatter sometimes. It's a good healing for the soul, write!
Claudia, Heather, Mert...thanks girls :).
And MRS. Senselight, not surprised this one brought you out of the wood work. I guess I should finish the one I started, in part prompted by you ;). Thanks for your thoughts, you know I love hearing 'em. And I'm glad, you, too, noticed where it ended. It's where I start...it's where I end. ly & cyber smooches :).
Been there. This sounds like it could have been written about my own dad.
You have a gift.
I really hope, for my sake and Blogger that I am allowed to leave this comment.
The "written for me" posts are always the best. They are from the heart and evoke such feelings, that you can reread it and be *there* all over again.
I have used writing as a way through some difficult times. Sometimes I want to remember a loss, to know how much it hurt, to never forget.. and sometimes I want to remember the lesson I was taught.
You are a treasure. Keep writing from the heart. It's brilliant.
Marnie
The Anonymous One
Not much I can say -- only Thank you for sharing - what a beautiful poem.
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